Things I’m Tired Of – 11/28/2010

1. The exact same celebration from every football player…jump, turn in the air.  Yep, originality is dead.

2. Reality shows for people with no discernible talent:  Kendra, Jersey Shore cast, Kate, 16 and pregnant ‘stars’ — I’m looking at you with my gas face.

3. Praise for quarterbacks regardless of who the actual play is made by (usually the receiver).

4. While we’re at it, protection for quarterbacks….if they don’t want to be hit they should choose a non-contact activity like Baseball.

5. The emasculation and ‘stupidification’ of men on television.

6. People who while talking, close their hand at the end of each sentence like they are trying to catch the words as they leave the mouth.

7. Housewives on TV in the city of your choice who are really not housewives in any traditional sense of the word….more like trophies with jewelry on.

8. Being tired…just tired

Ah…that’s better.

oh and 9.  Sarah Palin.

Officially Old?

I’m on the precipice of 35 years old. I’m injured from running full speed — 3 or 4 weeks ago! My thumb is so swollen it looks like a pig without the blanket. I drink two beers and think I may be reaching my limit. I no longer feel any excitement for the Friday nights I use to cherish. I read. . .and read . . . and read.

It’s not all bad. I’ve got some beautiful kids and wife. I just wonder if I’m going through a mid-life crisis or if I’m in a funk or what. I do find myself often bored, bored by everything….

Overheard at Work

“Do she feel sick cuz you know how she be throwin’ up just to be throwin up? Maybe she got something when she bit that little girl?” — Assuming this little girl is young enough to still bite other kids, do they have a bulimic baby on their hands? Throwing up just to be throwing up?

Woman bites lover’s penis off in car crash | Metro.co.uk

Woman bites lover’s penis off in car crash | Metro.co.uk
That has to be some very major karma at play. 

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School Warns Parents Dead Daughter Can’t Go to Prom

School Warns Parents Dead Daughter Can’t Go to Prom
How disturbing it would be to receive a letter from your deceased daughter’s school saying her lack of attendance is going to prevent her from going to prom!

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Sign of the Times

Dr Sister Xpinionated In law works at a hospital in Newark, New Joisey. Talking of guns at lunch, she mentioned that the hospital has seen an influx of pistol whippings because no one can afford bullets. That is heeeeelarious.

Great Quotes from Daytime TV

Daughters: We never go on vacation
Mom: Uh, 6 months off.
Daughters: Rehab doesn’t count, mom!

60+ degrees all week and now there’s sleet…Mother Nature is on meth!

It’s official. I hate HGTV….17 shows that are all the exact same EXCEPT they have different names. Hidden Potential. My House is Worth What? Blah Blah blah

Overheard on one of Devin’s shows, “We wanted to be careful but we forgot to remember”. Ah, if only adults could use excuses like we forgot to remember…..