Video Games vs. Sex

Today, NCAA Football 2006 comes out. I was telling a coworker how I hate the fact that if I go buy this game tonite (available at 8am), by the time I get a game under my belt there will be some 12 year old online who has already learned every nook and cranny of the game and be 17 – 0 in online competition. The coworker quickly responded ‘Yeah, but you can have sex’.

Ah, good point I thought….but after further contemplation I came up with
Top 10 Reasons Video Games are better than Sex

• 10. There is no performance anxiety with video games….none whatsoever.
• 9. A video game can have all kinds of endings. Sex, well, pretty much ends the same way every time.
• 8. You have full control of video games. No partner instructions, movements, etc….Sex, yeah, not so much.
• 7. No unnecessary foreplay, no setting the mood, no dinner. You sit down you turn it on, and you git er done!!
• 6. When you finish a game, there are no nine month time delayed surprises awaiting you.
• 5. When you want the video game, you can have the video game. Video games don’t have cycles, or headaches, or WB shows to watch.
• 4. Honestly, you could care less how it was for the video game. You got yours!!!
• 3. Video games are not nearly as messy….no random hairs, no wet spots, not a whole lot of sweating (and if you are sweating playing video games, you should probably find another hobby)…just clean old fashioned fun!!
• 2. Video games don’t have herpes. Nothing further need be stated.
• 1. When you have video games online, no one thinks twice about it. When you have sex online, now you’re a pervert!!

So given all these reasons, it became clear to me that video games are way better than sex. Oddly enough, I still like sex better….heheeheehee…mmm….intercourse…..(wow if having sex and intercourse doesn’t get my visitor count up, I don’t know what will!!!)…..